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Conan · S2 E151

Never Bring a Knife to a Hot Dog Eating Contest

2012-10-15

Patton Oswalt, Cheryl Hines and musical guest Michael Kiwanuka

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Season 2 Episodes

  • E1The Announcer Who Died at the End of the Announcement
  • E2Happy One Year Anniversary to Us, and to Lisa and Greg Drucker of Wayne, New Jersey
  • E3Mime Riot
  • E4The Illiterate Merderer
  • E5The Postman Always Rings Ten Times. What's His Problem?
  • E6Dead Men Tell No Amusing Anecdotes
  • E7Siri Shows Her Boobs
  • E8A Man for All Flu Seasons
  • E9Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your DVDs of "Breaking Bad" Season 3
  • E10What Happens in Vegas is Typically Pretty Sad
  • E11Bye-Bye, Albino's Alibi
  • E12Indiana Jones and the Temple of Wait, This Isn't a Temple It's a Walmart!
  • E13The Bourne Ultimate Frisbee Tournament
  • E14What the Butler Smelled
  • E15Tell My Wife I Love Her, and Tell My Secret Wife I Love Her Even More
  • E16Armageddon Comes to Quiznos
  • E17Return to A-Hole Acres
  • E18It's a Wonderful Life Because of the Internet
  • E19Miracle Whip on 34th Street
  • E20The Island of Misfit Roys: Scheider Edition!
  • E21Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, but Only to Visit His Mistress Danielle
  • E22Happy Chanukah - I Mean, Hanukah - I Mean, Hanukkah
  • E23The Stockings Were Hung - To Send a Message to the Other Stockings
  • E24Christmas Eve Not Christmas Steve
  • E25May Old Acquaintances Be De-Friended
  • E26Out with the Old, in with the Hastily-Repainted Old
  • E27Manuary 5th - The Day of the Dude
  • E28Oh My God, Baby New Year Got Into the Medicine Cabinet!
  • E29Every Kiss Begins with Kay, But Everything Else Begins with K-Y
  • E30The Integrity Episode, Brought to you by Pall Mall Cigarettes
  • E31The Mime Whisperer
  • E32The Mayan "Dilbert Cartoon-A-Day" Calendar
  • E33The Guy Who Actually Went to the Gym he Joined on New Year's Day
  • E34Operation Orgy: Journey to Coitus Cove
  • E35This Episode Would Like you to Join its LinkedIn Network
  • E36The Formerly Lesbian Mad Scientist Who Really, Really Experimented in College
  • E37The Bourne Again Ultimatum
  • E38Mr. Gorbachev, Put Up Some Drapes!
  • E39We Need the Funk, If It's Not Too Much Trouble Would Like to Have That Funk.
  • E40A Watched Pot Never Boils, and Other Total Lies
  • E41The Man Who Got his Money's Worth at Starbucks
  • E42The Dr. Wizard of Dr. Oz
  • E43Double-Vision Theater Presents: The Lady With Incredible Ta-ta-ta-tas
  • E44The Lonely Scent of a Lean Cuisine
  • E45"High-Four Me!" Said the Woodshop Teacher
  • E46The Creature From the Recently Gentrified Lagoon
  • E47Cheap Applause From the Best Audience In the World
  • E48Mr. Peanut's Peanut Allergy
  • E49The Last-Minute Gift at CVS That Got Greg Laid
  • E50Luck be a Man Dressed as a Lady Tonight
  • E51Die Hard 5: Let's Not Die Quite So Hard, I've Got Chronic Back Pain
  • E52The 24th Annual NERF® Product Expo
  • E53Justice has a Middle Name and it's Eric
  • E54Annie, Get Your Glock
  • E55Death Wish 6: Natural Causes
  • E56The Douche Who Lost His Bag
  • E57Godzilla Vs. His Own Body Issues
  • E58If It Looks Like a Duck and Quacks Like a Duck, It's a Little Person Dressed as a Duck
  • E59Low-Brow OCD Theater Presents: Pull My Finger 40 Times
  • E60Virginia Is for Lovers, But So Is My Van
  • E61Bridesmaids Revisited
  • E62The Rendezvous With Destiny That Was Pushed Back to April
  • E63She Maces Me, She Maces Me Not
  • E64Honey, I Shrunk the Show
  • E65The Dark Knight Dies From Rubber Suit Induced Heat Exhaustion
  • E66El Episodio Con El Título Español
  • E67Godzilla Versus Robocalling Mothra
  • E68That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Think I'm Doing This Suicide Thing Wrong
  • E69The Lonely Life of Albert Peniseyebrows
  • E70Early to Bed and Early to Rise Makes a Man Want a Better Shift at Denny's
  • E71Ding Dong! The Witch Is Selling Amway.
  • E72Lucy in the Sky With Amazingly Realistic Diamelles™
  • E73The Member of Styx Who Got Laid More When he Stopped Saying he Was a Member of Styx
  • E74Fruit by the Foot, Regret by the Mile.
  • E75Flash Mob on the Bounty
  • E76Where in Carmen Sandiego Is Waldo?
  • E77How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Google the Ways.
  • E78The Bourne Thingamajigee
  • E79The Doomsday Device (Batteries Not Included)
  • E80Nine Hairy Guys in a Hot Tub Built for Five
  • E81Extremely Slow Murder on the Orient Local
  • E82I Believe the Children are our Future D-Bags
  • E83How Much for That Doggie on the Roof of your Car?
  • E84I Like Big Butts and I Can Still Lie
  • E85What are you Doing With My Freak On?
  • E86The Day the Earth Stood too Close to the Barbecue
  • E87Are All Guys Named Jared Kinda Dicky?
  • E88Table for Two, Said the Fatman
  • E89Anthony Michael Hall Kidnapped My Family. This Is Not a Show Title. I'm Begging You! Call the Police!
  • E90You're Gonna Get Your Ass Tapped in Prison, Charlie Brown
  • E91The Thingy of Finite Imagination
  • E92Episode 257: Literally
  • E93The Channing Tatum Ultimatum
  • E94This One has a Wardrobe Malfunction
  • E95The Little Engine That Could, But Held Out For More Money
  • E96The Girl Who Said, "It's Not You, It's Me" and Actually Meant It
  • E97The Boy with ADD Who... Is That a Butterfly?
  • E98My Eyes Are Up Here, ArchBishop Desmond Tutu!
  • E99E-vite to a Murder
  • E100And the Wind Cries, "Sausage"
  • E101The Devil in the White Suburb
  • E102The Gnocchi From Skokie That Sang Karaoke
  • E103The Day Lake Michigan Got Renamed What It Should've Been Called In The First Place - Lake Illinois!
  • E104Four Weddings, a Funeral, and a Bris
  • E105Descartes Presents: Dude, Why's My Car?
  • E106The Lion, the Witch, and Some Crap from the Container Store
  • E107A Buncha Crap We Came Up With This Afternoon
  • E108Godzilla vs. The Board of Education
  • E109The House of Usher, and the Cramped Studio Apartment of Sisqó
  • E110John Carter 2: Just Kidding, That Will Never Happen
  • E111Puss in Ugg Boots
  • E112Dracula Meets the Mummy, and the Two Hit It Off Swimmingly
  • E113Das Re-Boot: Revenge of the '80s Movie Reference
  • E114Martin Short Meets Justin Long
  • E115Slaughterdeath 4: Hurtfest in Scartown
  • E116The Quick Case of the Easily Solved Mystery
  • E117Mission Impossible 5: Flatulence Protocol
  • E118Are You There, God? It's Me, a Narcissistic Jerk Who Thinks He Can Talk to God
  • E119Something, Something Japanese
  • E120Jolt Cola Explosion at the Old Reference Factory
  • E121Fear and Loathing and Boredom in Albany
  • E122The Shark Who Took Small Bites and Chewed Carefully
  • E123Audit at Fiscal Point
  • E124Understatement in Hyperbole Town
  • E125The Little Engine That Could, But Chose Not to for Ethical Reasons
  • E126The Green Lantern 2: Just Kidding, That Won't Happen
  • E127Penny for Your Thoughts and a Dollar for Your Social Security Number
  • E128The Land That Time Totally Blanked On
  • E129Are You There God? It's Me, Murder
  • E130Retweet This Title and Get Big Savings on Your Next Purchase of Conan Cereal!
  • E131The Pimp with the Limp Who Loved to Eat Shrimp
  • E132The Improbable Rise of John Yeastlessbread
  • E133The Mayan Hunky Firefighter Calendar
  • E134Then the Clock Struck 12, 11 Central Time, 10 Mountain Time
  • E135The Murder of Steve Victim
  • E136The Surpirisingly Well-Adjusted Later Life of Honey Boo Boo
  • E137Green Eggs and Jon Hamm
  • E138One Hundred Years of Solitude (Thanks a Lot, Garlic)
  • E139The Incredible Stuff of Non-Specific Guy
  • E140Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around the Corner Fudge Is Outsourced to India
  • E141The Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer
  • E142Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Wildlife Federation
  • E143Catcher in the Rye 2: The Catchening
  • E144The OCD Postman Always Rings Twice, Forty Times in a Row
  • E145Journey to the Return of Revenge Against the Fight
  • E146Beach Blanket Bunker: The Untold Story of Hitler and His Prize Surfboard
  • E147Butt Slayer 4: Rise of the Non-Butts
  • E148The Berenstain Bears Quietly Convert to Judaism
  • E149The Overpriced Organic Grapes of Wrath
  • E150License and Wegistwation, Said the Baby Cop
  • E151Never Bring a Knife to a Hot Dog Eating Contest
  • E152Love Potion Number MGD 64
  • E153Return and Return and Return to OCD Mountain
  • E154Fool Me Thrice, Shame on Amnesia
  • E155There's Something Suspicious About Professor Murder
  • E156Seth Swisher's Sushi Switcharoo
  • E157When a Pterodactyl Is in the Next Stall, the P Is Silent
  • E158A Man, a Tan, a Terrible Plan
  • E159Part Four 6: Part Twelve
  • E160Where There's Smoke, There's Gladys the Smoker
  • E161Dracula Meets Frankenstein, But Only for Coffee
  • E162The AARP Guide to Sexting