M*A*S*H

Pilot

At the 4077th Mobile Army Surgical Hospital (M.A.S.H) unit in Korea, two army doctors by the names of Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John McIntyre receive some exciting news in the mail. Their Korean house boy, Ho-John got accepted into Hawkeye's old college. Hawkeye and Trapper decide to hold a party filled with music, dancing, and alcohol to raise money for Ho-John's plane trip to the U.S. They achieve this by raffling off a weekend pass with a nurse, Lieutenant Dish for R&R in Tokyo.

To Market, to Market

"To Market, to Market" is the second episode of M*A*S*H. It was first aired on September 24, 1972 and repeated on April 29, 1973. Like many other M*A*S*H episodes, this one parodies army bureaucracy. Thieves hold up a truck load of medical supplies for the 4077, thus rendering them in desperate need of Hydrocortisone. In retaliation, Hawkeye and Trapper meet with a notorious black marketer, hoping to get some replacements. When they realize they have nothing reasonable to trade with him, they go to drastic measures to get what they need.

Requiem for a Lightweight

Trapper and Hawkeye seek to keep a new nurse from being transferred by Hot Lips, and they vie for her affection. Henry Blake, challenged by another commander to a boxing tournament, makes Trapper fight a big, intimidating soldier in exchange for keeping the nurse at the 4077th. Hawkeye and Ugly John employ the use of a glove soaked with ether to insure Trapper's victory, which impresses the nurse. Margaret and Frank's attempts to unfix the match collapses, as they are flattened by the unconscious boxer!

Chief Surgeon Who?

Frank Burns complains about Hawkeye Pierce's disrespect...and Henry appoints Hawkeye chief surgeon, to Burns's shock. The rest of the 4077th "coronates" Hawk while Frank and Hot Lips complain to General Barker. The General's visit provides him with a view of life at the 4077th M*A*S*H unit: camp hijinks, a poker game, and a surgery session. This shows him M*A*S*H has fun but gets the job done.

The Moose

Sergeant Baker arrives at the camp with his Moose. Hawkeye decides to find a way of getting her away from Baker. He tries ordering him to release her, tries buying her, and then resorts to cheating at cards. He releases her but she won't go, so he tries to teach her how to be independent.

Yankee Doodle Doctor

The 4077th is designated as the setting for the making of an army film on Mobile Army Surgical Hospital units. Hawkeye is chosen as the star while Margaret and Frank compose a screenplay. The Eye Of The Hawk objects to the piece of propaganda that filmmaker Lt. Bricker is producing and, having exposed the original film, reshoots a new one his way, starring himself as Groucho Marx-ish Yankee Doodle Doctor, and poking fun at glorifying doctors while concluding with a rather serious speech about the hell of war.

Bananas, Crackers and Nuts

When Henry goes for some R&R, Hawkeye pretends to crack up so that Frank will let him and Trapper go on some R&R.

Cowboy

John Hodges, a chopper pilot referred to as The Cowboy because of his gun holster belt and cowboy hat, has been hit in the shoulder, and arrives at the 4077th. He is expecting a letter--he's worried his wife Jean at home is leaving him for another man ("She's probably off with some rodeo rider; she's a sucker for a 10-gallon hat!"). He wants to go home, but Henry refuses, stating Cowboy's wound isn't serious enough to merit a stateside ticket. Bad luck then follows Henry Blake like the seat of his pants: he gets shot at while golfing, his tent gets flattened by a driverless jeep, and the latrine explodes while he's inside. The Cowboy offers to fly Henry to Seoul and then threatens to shove him out! The letter finally arives for Cowboy, assuring he is loved. Hawkeye and Trapper uses the radio to convince The Cowboy to spare Henry's life and come down, at which they succeed.

Henry Please Come Home

Henry receives a citation for the camp achieving the best efficiency rating, and then General Hammond reassigns him to Tokyo. Frank then changes the camp to be more military, and he confiscates Hawkeye's and Trapper's still. They use forged passes to go to Tokyo to convince Henry to come back and end up pretending Radar is sick.

I Hate a Mystery

A rash of thefts breaks out in the camp. Missing pieces include Frank's silver picture frame, Margaret's hair brush, and Trapper's watch. The camp is searched and everything is found in Hawkeye's locker. Everyone thinks he did it. Hawkeye manages to announce to the camp that the items will be dusted for prints to identify the real thief, and catches Ho-Jon. He needed money to bring his family from the North, and to bribe border guards.

Germ Warfare

Hawkeye moves a wounded North Korean soldier into The Swamp, rather than let him be shipped out before he's stable. During the night he and Trapper play Dracula, and siphon off a pint of Frank's blood. The soldier then contracts hepatitis, so they have to test Frank without him knowing, and have to keep him away from Margaret and the patients.

Dear Dad

Hawkeye writes home, describing Christmas in Korea: Radar ships a jeep home, a piece at a time; Henry gives the monthly lecture on sex, with the aid of figure A and figure B; Trapper helps deliver a calf; Klinger and Frank get into a fight, but Father Mulcahy smoothes things over; Hawkeye and Trapper sabotage Margaret's tent; Hawkeye flies to the front line dressed as Santa, to help a wounded soldier.

Edwina

The nurses go to extremes lengths to find a date for Nurse Eddie - they won't go out with anyone until Eddie gets a date. The men draw straws, and Hawkeye is the big loser, especially after Eddie nearly kills him in a scene resembling teenage "mating" rituals.

Love Story

Radar gets a Dear John recording from home. Hawkeye and Trapper try to set him up with a date, but fail. Radar is taken by a new nurse at the camp and she is into poetry and music, so they coach him. Margaret wants to stop the relationship, so Hawkeye and Trapper get between her and Frank until she relents. Radar's "Ahhhh, Bach!" and "That's highly significant," quotes win him the girl.

Tuttle

Hawkeye creates a fake doctor, Captain Jonathan S. Tuttle, to give supplies to the local orphans. Henry wants Tuttle to be officer of the day, so Hawkeye creates a fake personnel file, and all his back pay is given to the orphanage. When General Clayton wants to reward his generosity, Hawkeye is forced to invent a story about Tuttle jumping from a chopper without his parachute! Of course, Trapper's new friend, Captain Murdoch, obtained the fake dog tags and parachute...!

The Ringbanger

Hawkeye and Trapper operate on a famous Colonel - after discovering that he is particularly ruthless about sacrificing his men, they come up with a scheme to get him sent back to the states with a little unwitting help from Frank, Margaret, and a drunk Henry.

Sometimes You Hear the Bullet

Frank throws his back out whilst spending the evening with Margaret, and ends up in traction. He promptly applies for the Purple Heart, having been 'technically' wounded at a frontline unit. Tommy Gillis, an old friend of Hawkeye's, is writing a book about the war, and pays him a visit. Later, Tommy is brought into the camp, seriously wounded, and Hawkeye can't save him. A 15-year-old kid is in the hospital to have his appendix out. He joined up to be a hero back home, but Hawkeye has him sent home, giving him Frank's purple heart.

Dear Dad...Again

Once again, Hawkeye writes home to his father, telling him of the latest gossip: the camp gets a new surgeon, who turns out to be a fake; Hawkeye bets he can walk into the mess tent naked for lunch, and no one will notice; Radar cheats on his final exam from the High School diploma company; Margaret rejects Franks advances and he gets drunk late into the night; the camp have a no talent night.

The Longjohn Flap

The camp suffers from the severe cold, except for Hawkeye who has received some long john's from his father. They get passed around from person to person, as a gift, a gambling stake, a trade, a bribe, stolen, given up to Father Mulcahy, who gives them to Henry, who returns them to Hawkeye as thanks for taking out his appendix.

The Army-Navy Game

The camp tunes into the Army/Navy football game, only to be shelled and have an unexploded bomb land in the middle of the compound. They ring around trying to identify the bomb, and the camp prepares for the worst. Hawkeye and Trapper are left the task of following instructions to disarm the bomb, which turns out to be full of propaganda leaflets from the CIA.

Sticky Wicket

Hawkeye and Frank argue over Frank's surgical ability. Hawkeye performs a difficult operation and the patient does not recover, as he should. Hawkeye begins to doubt his ability and moves out of The Swamp. He decides to open up his patients again, and discovers a nick in the colon that even Frank admits anyone could have missed.

Major Fred C. Dobbs

As usual Frank's normal drone of verbal abuse upsets Ginger, so Hawkeye puts his arm in a cast while he is asleep. Frank puts in for a transfer, and after a broadcast goes out of Frank telling Margaret he's leaving, she decides to leave as well. As a result, Col. Blake puts both Hawk and Trap on double post-op duty until he finds replacements for Majs. Burns and Houlihan. Unwilling to lose their two favorite patsies, and to be worn to a frazzle from doing 2 shifts in O/R, Hawkeye and Trapper hatch a scheme to prevent Frank and Hot Lips from leaving. That night, Hawkeye and Trapper pretend they have found gold, letting Frank overhear them. Frank then withdraws his request when he thinks he's found gold himself, although the joke is on him when he finds, amongst other things, a gilded jeep!

Ceasefire

General Clayton calls to say that a ceasefire is to be declared. The camp celebrates, Klinger gives away his dresses and locals start to take pieces of the camp. But Trapper does not believe it. Hawkeye claims he is married to avoid promises he made to several nurses. The party to celebrate the cease-fire, which never really took place, is interrupted by incoming wounded.

Showtime

Captain Kaplan is to be shipped home, but becomes paranoid that something will happen to him before he leaves. He takes the wheel of the jeep to drive to Kimpo himself, but crashes and ends up in plaster. Henry's wife is in labor and gives birth while he has Radar calling the hospital every 5 mins.An entertainer, Jackie Flash, visits the camp to entertain the troops.

Divided We Stand

Gen. Clayton sends a psychiatrist to the 4077th to gauge the camp's cohesiveness and fitness as a unit.

5 O’Clock Charlie

An inept, if punctual, bomber pilot provides comic relief for Hawkeye and Trapper, but inspires Frank to call out the heavy artillery.

Radar’s Report

Radar chronicles the antics of a typical week at the 4077th, which includes Hawkeye falling for a new nurse, a POW going berserk in the OR and Klinger seeking a psychiatric discharge.

For the Good of the Outfit

Hawkeye and Trapper receive high-level flak when they buck the brass to report the "friendly fire" shelling of a South Korean village.

Dr. Pierce and Mr. Hyde

Hawkeye has been operating so long he just can't quit, and he decides to try to end the war while he's at it.

Kim

Everyone wants to mother a wounded and apparently orphaned boy.

The General Flipped at Dawn

The MASH 4077 is visted by General Steele. He wishes to move the camp 5 miles down the road. Hawkeye and Henry are charged with mutiny. And Hawkeye is also charged with impersonating a reporter.

Rainbow Bridge

As Hawkeye and Trapper are planning to leave for Tokyo, an unusual offer to swap POW patients between the Chinese and the 4077th comes in. Henry, after much debate, agrees to send Hawkeye, Trapper, Frank, Radar, and Klinger into enemy territory. Frank almost botches the swap when he brings a squirt gun to the exchange. Fortunately, the Chinese Dr. Lin Tam has a sense of humor; he went to the University of Illinois, after all.

Officer of the Day

While Henry is away in Seoul, Burns and Houlihan are in charge, and Hawkeye is the officer of the day. His refusal to release a wounded Korean soldier, wanted by US Intelligence, leads to a confrontation with Colonel Flagg.

Iron Guts Kelly

General 'Iron Guts' Kelly arrives for an inspection, and ends up dying in Margaret's tent. Hawkeye and Trapper help the General's aide smuggle him out of camp. The next day he is reported killed at the front, as that is where he would have wanted to die.

O.R.

The OR is filled with more wounded than the unit can handle. Hawkeye does heart massage on a soldier, which saves his life, but he dies four hours later. Sidney Freedman drops in during the deluge, and is dragged into the fray by Hawkeye.

Welcome to Korea

Trapper is shipped home while Hawkeye is on R&R. Hawkeye speeds to Kimpo with Radar to catch Trapper's plane, but they just miss him. While they are there, they pick up BJ Hunnicut and take him back to camp. On the way back, BJ is introduced to the Korean War.

Change of Command

Frank settles in as commanding officer, only to have a new one appointed over his head, one that, to his chagrin, fits in very well.

It Happened One Night

A freezing night, an artillery barrage that's coming too close, a patient going downhill, and Frank's searching Hot Lips' tent for his letters.

The Late Captain Pierce

When Hawkeye's father is notified that he's dead, he finds it's no easy matter either to get word to him or to establish otherwise.

Hey, Doc

Its quid pro quo at the 4077th: two bottles of Scotch for secret surgery, and a tank to scare off snipers for an unauthorized shot of penicillin.

The Bus

Radar is driving Hawk, B.J., Sherman, and Frank in a bus back from a "medical conference" when they get lost. They stop to see if they can find anything they recognize. When they decide to turn around, they find that the bus does not want to start. Radar goes off in the middle of the night for the latrine, and does not immediately return. Stricken, Hawkeye wants to set out to find him, only to be stopped by Sherman. An injured Korean surrenders to get medical help from Hawk and B.J.. Upon Radar return, the Korean helps repair the bus and get them out of danger.

Bug Out

When a rumor for a camp relocation turns out to be real, Hawkeye, Margaret and Radar volunteer to stay behind for a patient who cannot be moved.

Margaret's Engagement

Margaret, calling from Tokyo, holds the camp in suspense until she returns with the news of her engagement to Lieutenant Colonel Donald Penobscott. Frank Burns takes the news hard and arrests a Korean family as spies.

Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Hawkeye is temporarily blinded while trying to fix the nurses' furnace, and Frank finds a sure-fire way to win bets on baseball games.

Lt. Radar O'Reilly

Following an offer of promotion made by Master Sergeant Woodruff at a poker game, Radar is promoted to the rank of lieutenant. Finding this position awkward, Radar opts to return to his position as an enlisted man.

The Nurses

The nurses go behind Margaret's back so that a fellow nurse confined to her tent can spend the night with her soldier husband who is paying her a surprise visit.

The Abduction of Margaret Houlihan

Margaret takes off in the middle of the night to help deliver a Korean baby. Nobody knows of her whereabouts, and Colonel Flagg is brought in to help investigate her disappearance.

Fade Out, Fade In

Frank Burns cracks up over Margaret's marriage while on R&R in Tokyo, and Major Charles Emerson Winchester III is sent to the 4077th as a replacement by a vindictive superior officer.

Fallen Idol

Radar has always looked up to Hawkeye and admired him as his hero. But after suffering a Jeep accident en route to R&R at Hawkeye's behest. Radar questions his own hero worship. Particularly when he and his hero have a falling out.

Last Laugh

Madness strikes as B.J. and his old friend Bardonaro play a series of practical jokes on each other, just as Bardonaro is about to leave Korea. Hawkeye gets the last laugh. He sends Bardonaro off without his traveling papers, and in a jeep with too little gas.

War of Nerves

The 4077th, caught up in tension and nerves, creates a bonfire to release their pressure. Meanwhile, Sidney Freedman is depressed over a young soldier who blames him for his injuries, because Freedman had sent him back into combat.

The Winchester Tapes

Hawkeye tries unsuccessfully to get to Seoul, to see Nurse Gilmore for the weekend. Meanwhile, Winchester has taped a letter home, asking for his influential parents to help get him back to the States. To get even, Hawkeye and B.J. switch Winchester's clothes, causing Winchester to alter his eating patterns.

Commander Pierce

Hawkeye undergoes a drastic change when he becomes temporary commander of the 4077th, and learns about the tedious bureaucracy and accompanying headaches that Colonel Potter deals with daily.

Peace On Us

Hawkeye becomes so disgusted with the stalled Panmunjon peace talks that he impulsively takes matters into his own hands, and goes to the meetings to lend a hand.

Lil

Colonel Potter meets a female soldier of the same age and interests as himself, named Lil. The others in the camp think that he might be cheating on Mildred, even though his friendship with Lil is completely platonic. Meanwhile Hawkeye tries to find out what B.J.'s initials stand for. As it turns out, he was named after his parents, Bea and Jay Hunnicutt.

Our Finest Hour

Newscaster Clete Roberts, reprising an earlier interview appearance, returns to update Korean War conditions, when he conducts a series of television talks with the leading characters of the 4077th.

The Billfold Syndrome

Charles becomes so irate, when he is turned down for a future medical position at home, that he refuses to talk to anyone in the unit, until Hawkeye and B.J. send him a false telegram from home. Meanwhile, a young soldier, Jerry Wilson, can't remember his own identity, so Sidney Freedman is called for help.

Too Many Cooks

A clumsy foot soldier, 'Look out below' Conway, finds the quickest way to the crew's heart, boosting morale at the 4077th by cooking gourmet delights. Only Colonel Potter, burdened with a personal crisis, is immune from the high spirits enveloping the hospital.

Are You Now, Margaret?

A Congressional aide, Williamson, visits the 4077th on a supposedly routine fact-finding tour, but it's discovered that his motives are far deeper - too uncover Margaret as a communist sympathizer. His case is full of innuendo, so the gang set out to help Margaret.

Guerilla My Dreams

The arrival of a wounded Korean woman sparks a conflict at the 4077th: Hawkeye wants to heal her, but a steely ROK officer, Lt. Park, is more anxious to "question" her about alleged guerilla activities.

Good-Bye Radar: Part 1

On leave in Tokyo, Radar is desperately needed back at the crisis-stricken 4077th, but his return is delayed by outside events. While casualties continue to pour in from the front, the 4077th's generator conks out, and the backup has been stolen, depriving the medical unit of all electrical power. But Klinger, filling in for the vacationing Radar, lacks the expertise and experience to wheel and deal for a new machine.

Good-Bye Radar: Part 2

As company clerk Radar O'Reilly reluctantly prepares to depart the 4077th, the unit is still without electricity due to a broken generator, and the operating room continues to fill up with war wounded as night falls. The responsibility for procuring a new generator falls on Klinger, who lacks Radar's masterful knack of cutting through red tape in search of much-needed supplies.

The Best of Enemies

On his way to some R&R in Tokyo, a North Korean soldier forces Hawkeye to perform an emergency roadside operation on his buddy.

Letters

Members of the 4077th share their impressions of war in response to letters from fourth graders in Hawkeye's hometown. Margaret writes about how there are some patients she will never forget, whilst the Colonel tells of his days as 'Hoops' Potter. Hawkeye: "Dear Ronnie, it's a shame to let the love you have for your brother turn to hate for others. Hate makes war, and war is what killed Keith. I understand how you feel. Sometimes I hate myself for being here. But sometimes in the midst of all this insanity, the smallest thing can make my being here seems worthwhile. Maybe the best answer I have for you is that you look for good wherever you can find it."

Cementing Relationships

A jilted Italian soldier, Corpsman Ignazio De Simone, is smitten by Margaret; Klinger pours a cement floor in the operating room to fight the spread of germs.

Father's Day

Margaret has trouble pretending she's a chip off the old block when her dad, blood and guts "Howitzer" Al Houlihan, arrives for a visit. Also, Hawkeye fixes up a soldier who repays them with a large side of steak, but the general who it belongs to is really steamed.

Death Takes a Holiday

Hawkeye, B.J., and Margaret try to save the life of a critically injured solider so that his family won't think of Christmas as the day that their father died. Meanwhile, Winchester fulfills a family Christmas tradition but has trouble maintaining the anonymity required to keep it a truly charitable act. Even Klinger lends a hand.

That's Show Biz

A touring USO show brings an unexpected touch of vaudeville to the 4077th when the star showgirl requires an emergency operation. And wouldn't you know, the comedian is Klinger's hero!

Identity Crisis

Father Mulcahy counsels a GI who is plagued by guilt because he has swapped tags with a dead colleague. Meanwhile, B.J. and Charles consider ways of keeping a soldier-salesman quiet.

Rumor at the Top

The latest scuttlebutt affects everyone's behavior when a visitor is rumored to be recruiting for a new M*A*S*H unit. The gang fears that the 4077th will be split up.

Give 'em Hell, Hawkeye

Hawkeye writes a heartfelt letter to President Harry Truman to protest at the continued fighting in Korea. Meanwhile, Colonel Ditka has promised a much-needed water-heater if the 4077th beautifies the camp.

Wheelers and Dealers

On the eve of a big poker game, B.J.'s pride is bruised when he finds out his wife is working as a waitress. And Potter takes driving lessons from Klinger.

Communication Breakdown

Hey, Look Me Over

Margaret and her nursing staff are about to be inspected by Col. Bucholz. Meanwhile, Kellye is offended that Hawkeye is attracted to any nurse except her.

Trick or Treatment

It's Halloween at the 4077th, and the staff dons costumes and trade ghost stories. Father Mulcahy discovers a soldier alive that had been pronounced dead.

Foreign Affairs

The Army tries to get a North Korean pilot to defect, and Charles gets a rude shock when he falls for a French nurse with a Bohemian past.

The Joker is Wild

Tired of reminders about Trapper John's skill as a practical joker, B.J. bets Hawkeye he can prank everyone present.

Who Knew?

Hawkeye volunteers to deliver the eulogy for a dead nurse that he briefly dated, and belatedly discovers her deep feelings for him.

Bombshells

Posing the theory that people will believe in anything, Charles and Hawkeye start a rumor that Marilyn Monroe plans to visit the 4077th, which gets everyone excited. Meanwhile, B.J. feels responsible when he's unable to rescue a wounded soldier, and is less than impressed when he is presented with a Bronze Star.